Charlie Wood Wear A Mask
Here we have Charlie Wood, icon, artist, singer, writer, host, she probably has as many jobs as she has masks and that’s why we love her. Read on to see how she keeps on top of it all…
My morning begins miserably late, the sort of thing that makes conservatives shudder. Once I have done all my getting up stuff I will usually try and do my admin there is always so much admin. I’m trying to be more professional, because that is something that can slip, especially like us (performers) when we don't have a regular routine, we’re tired all the time and have a weird brain. I’m trying to make a little practice every day, my routine. Vocal exercises every day, writing every day, playing an instrument every day, I usually don’t get all of these things done but I am trying.
Before a performance I used to be anxious for the entire day and not do anything because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate. I had stage fright that would last the day, like I would wake up and it would be there, I’m pretty much on the other side of it now, I still get quite anxious in the minutes leading up to it and if it’s something new I’ve not done before the fear does set in, but my experience now helps.
Experience is one the the most valuable things as a live performer as it gets you comfortable in the fear and helps you realise that if things go wrong and you can get out of it relatively competently, no one will really care. I’ve done enough shitty gigs to not do a shitty gig anymore to some degree anyway. I'm sure I'll still have shitty gigs in the future but I'm past the stage of 50/50 this can go well, this can go awful.
When I was in a play at The Glory I usually got to the venue around 4:30, I generally do my make up at the venue if I can, because I feel that doing your best within the people in the same space is quite a good bonding moment, the community aspect of all this is the most important part. I like to spend non pressurised time with people, and have found makeup is quite a good way of doing that because everyone is not looking at each other but still engaged in the room and I ramble a lot if you haven't already realised…
“There are two things that I hate on stage, dead air and overindulgence. I feel like if you go up with no plan then both of those things are possible.”
I don't really have many pre-show rituals, I should probably ritualise a bit more, because I think that gets someone in a good headspace, which is my biggest thing. I will generally try and find a moment to run through in my brain what I’m doing, usually on the stage, after I’ll just take myself off into a corner and walk in circles. I’ve got an increasingly long vocal warm up that I do when it’s music stuff, which I think gets me into the space. My warm ups are as much about mental centring than anything else, as they are about preparing your physical self.
Before a show my stomach goes all weird; it doesn’t matter what I eat, but I will not eat for at least an hour and a half before I go on stage. It’s weird because often my brain isn’t in much of an anxious space, my stomach is doing it for me, they say your gut is your second brain. I don’t drink alcohol before going on, I wait for alcohol until I’ve finished the thing. I’m never well prepared enough to know I can just do it on a drink.
10 minutes before the show, mentally I am going, “fuck it, you can’t do anything about it now.” So, I get into the zone, pump up, feel it and force myself to remember that I enjoy it. Which is true. I do know this, but when you're backstage you are like, “this is awful, this is all going to go terribly, why am I doing this?” I am usually walking too much and talking too much, it turns me into the most extreme version of myself. I end up overspeaking, overpresenting, just being too much.
When I step on stage I become very in the moment with it. I think the best way to be as a performer is being very susceptible to what's going on in the room, being able to just play off of it immediately. So I kind of just get into a zone, I don’t really do a character, I kind of just bullshit about, as myself. I curate a version of myself which is most appropriate for what is going on at that moment. If things are going weird or are off, I am now comfortable enough in my stage self to just comment on stuff. I think that is the fun thing about live stuff, is that everything that is happening is very much there in that moment. And of course I’m also just trying to remember what I’m meant to be doing…
At this point (in my career) I have a couple little bits, little songs or lines or games or surveys, I got quite into surveys. There are two things that I hate on stage, dead air and overindulgence. I feel like if you go up with no plan then both of those things are possible. It’s about juggling the in the moment stuff with your emergency bits. It is the only time I think when I actually become a very focused and professional person.
During the performance I feel I have a hyper analytical mind, it is full on. Whilst I’m performing I tell myself, “ok so we got 70% of the laughs for that one and let's give it more energy for the next bit.” By the time I get off the stage I am kind of giving myself a score. Which I am trying to not do, because different spaces are different, different crowds are different and often raucousness isn’t the defining success. I will be going through in my head what worked and what didn’t work. I am trying to get better at logging the stuff that did work and remembering when things were liked. I think it is most peoples tendency to focus on the bits in which you feel like you fucked up, and were awful and cringe and terrible and bad.
In the performance world audiences are very generous, people will come and talk to you generally saying very nice things, I still haven’t worked out what to say when people say things were good. I try not to focus on myself for so long, I hate it. I love attention on stage, but when it is from the people around you, with words, I stop being able to deal with it. But I love it, it’s hard. It’s a weird place to be in.
“That is how I want to be seen, that's how I feel most… viewable. I think a mask can be a revealer as much as a concealer.”
Even though it’s weird I do like to get out, speak to people and find what the vibe is as quick as possible. Some people like to get their face off before they go in, I actively like to keep my face on, I wear a lot of masks. Firstly if you have performed under a mask for a while your face isn’t going to be looking that great. I don’t want to inflict my mask face on the people. The idea of masks generally is that they conceal your identity. When I am all decked out in my stuff, I honestly feel much more myself. I feel like my drag, if you can even call it that anymore, is more authentically myself than I am in the state that I am day to day. That is how I want to be seen, that's how I feel most… viewable. I think a mask can be a revealer as much as a concealer. I stay in costume, if that's not completely inappropriate in the space. Of course, if I take off my mask, how will people know who I am and say nice things to me? I get into a mix of absolute narcissism and insecurity in these moments.
I'll grab a drink after the show. I'm not desperate or anything, I have a healthy relationship with alcohol, I don't have healthy relationships with a lot of things but, alcohol is one of the good ones. When you work nights you lose out on a lot of opportunities to socialise, quite a lot of my social life happens in and around gigs, so I’m keen to get a drink and chat to my friends, just be in the space with them for a while, living in the buzz and excitement of all the stage stuff.
Then when I get home somewhere around midnight and can’t sleep for hours. I eat. The amount of fucking pasta I have eaten in the last couple of years, you know the immediate ravioli things brings me total and absolute shame. I have been forcing myself to eat more vegetables to overcome the fact that my body is 40% carbohydrate at this point. But it is filling and quick, there is no energy to be cooking meals at this time and I can’t be throwing pots and pans all over the place, I have flatmates. If it isn’t too late I might call my mother, she is quite invested and I find listening to her quite relaxing.
What I do have an unhealthy relationship with is Instagram. I will be looking out for stuff about the show I had just come back from and reposting it. I say it’s unhealthy, but this is where a lot of business comes from. If you can be reposting stuff saying you were good then, that makes you look more successful, that has the potential for more opportunities and the cycle continues.
The work isn’t quite over when the show finishes, but I am for the night anyway, until tomorrow.
What Charlie is seeing
3 gigs to keep an eye on:
Frankie and Liv’s Body show at Soho in July
Fools Moon’s Dance Plague at Soho as well
And tbh just Duckie - go to whatever Duckie is doing it’s always good
Charlies fav venues
Anything at The Glory, The Yard Theatre, The Royal Vauxhall Tavern and Battersea Arts Centre are always my first ports of call.
Where to see Charlie
My gigs!
-I’m part of a panel about Queer Joy by Bold Melon for Queer Croydon on the 14th, at the Stanley Arts Centre.
-Then (probably most importantly) Miss E is back on the 27th at The Yard Theatre.
-Finally, my band also has a gig on the 4th of August as part of the Carboot Cabaret for the iconic Cavendish Arms!