Rosalie The Regency Girl Of The Minnitt
A Regency woman looking for love, fuelled on a lack of sleep, McDonald's breakfasts, and Charlie XCX/Choral music playlists
My day starts with me having not slept well because I’m stressed. I self produce so my mind is in a million different places. Usually I’ve had an idea (overnight) to do something big and stupid. The morning is me wrestling with whether I should add this massive new element to the show.
Usually I’m drinking a lot of coffee as well - say it was during Fringe - and then I can kid myself into thinking I’ve had some sort of artistic ritual, when really it’s just me justifying why I need to eat a McDonalds breakfast (I’m a McMuffin girl) to perform well. It’s my process.
I’m running around, trying to tie everything together. I’m contacting my tech guys, to say something is broken, a light is dead.
I like to get there early so I can get into my costumes and get into a warm up. I never want to feel like I’m rushed. But because I work full time it’s not always possible to get a day off work. I don’t do anything specific though. I try to keep myself in a good headspace and eat something crap - I do really like McDonald’s!
I’ll throw a playlist on, I love some Charlie XCX, some Beyoncé. I listen to a lot of musicals, something bizarre and listen to a lot of choral songs, which is quite weird. I remember walking around a church once during Fringe and thinking, this is a bit method. I mean a good pray is a good way to start.
Before a show, I like to think I’m easy going but in reality I get quite nervous so I’m really quiet. Sometimes I have a bad feeling about a show - which is often unfounded. I’m always worried about forgetting my lines and because I don’t have a producer I’m worried I’ll have forgotten to set a prop. I like to sing all of my songs before the show, it helps me to get into it but it must be annoying for my tech guy because I get a bit stressy and random. I’ll be like what’s happening with that light? And he will be like why are you bringing this up?
I don’t like it when there are people backstage. I find that stressful because I’ll look strange as I’ll be throwing my arms around.
However Clementine is more together than me - before a show that is - she has a team. I don’t. She has a producer, she is a massive diva and isn’t worried about impressing the public. I’m more needy. She’s only there because she has nothing better to do. This is for them not for her. It’s community service. Some people give to charity and some people tell their story and that is her way of seeing it. She is a patron to the arts.
She might be doing a Gregorian chant, she might be seeing to fans, she is super late, the carriage is there just as it’s about to start. Sometimes she doesn’t show up for me as a gig starts and then we’re screwed.
How I feel on stage depends on how I’m feeling and on the audience. When there is an energy, and people are being open and receptive, they don’t need to be loud but I immediately feel more relaxed.
But it’s also how you have been on the day. Sometimes you can’t do anything about it, like if you are going through something personally, I’ve found it really hard not to bring that into it. But usually if I’m feeling shit about something, I’ll think to myself: this is a good escape.
I also always try to go for it every show. Someone once said to me, whether it’s sold out or two people you should always do the most you can. These people have come and given up their time for you. Sometimes, like at Fringe, you go out on stage and there are three people and it’s easy to be like, ohh what a waste of time. I always think no it’s not a waste of time for those people, they have come and they deserve a show.
I always think that this could be the last time I might perform, something might happen, it might be the last time I’m on stage. The show might be cancelled, Clementine might be cancelled, it’s a dangerous cultural world out there. But no two gigs are the same and I would always want to think I gave it my all and enjoyed it.
But in terms of actually being on stage, even if it’s going badly, I love how present it is. It’s the only time in my life where I’m not thinking of a hundred other things or I want to be somewhere else. And if I am doing those things and it’s not going well, I’m not doing it right. Luckily that doesn’t happen very much and I love that I am present, it’s such a privilege. I always feel really happy, even if it’s going terribly.
Clementine however, would say she doesn’t care but actually she loves it. Every opportunity is an opportunity to find love and she is looking, scanning the audience, and I am too, to be honest. Where is my Bradley? (An important love interest in the show). She is thinking about other things. She has things to do, places to be. It isn’t the most important thing she is doing that day, a chance to get another fan…
Things go wrong for both of us. They always go wrong don’t they? Touch wood, I’ve always been very lucky that no one has ever done anything inappropriate, generally people are very polite. It’s not a show that pushes people into uncomfortable territory so generally it’s OK. But one of the things that went really wrong at Fringe, at some point in the first ten minutes of the show I cut my hand on something. I went to talk to an audience member, looked down at my hands and they were covered in blood. Like dripping. My tech guy filmed it. When you watch it back you can just see the sheer panic! Everyone thought it was part of the bit and that it was really funny. I was like ohh god. The Underbelly staff were all running around stressed wondering whether they should stop the show. It was really bad. A few things went through my head at that moment. One was: I’m dying, I’m dead, I’m already dead. I’m going to die in front of these people and haunt the halls of Cowgate for the rest of my life. The second thing was: What is this wound? Where is it coming from? How far am I willing to go for this show? It was one of those moments where you might think: she’s not ok, she is giving too much. Part of me was like yeah let’s keep going, but another was like ooh, this is unsafe. But I kept going anyway and there was a point where I ran off and a lovely Underbelly staff member threw open a first aid kit and I told them “there’s no time!” Luckily the audience were lovely, it went great, but by the end my dress was covered in blood. It did spook me a bit and test me.
It really depends on how a show has gone as to whether I want to talk to people afterwards. If I feel like it hasn’t gone well I find it really hard to accept compliments. I feel like I have let the audience down. I feel I need to sit down and address what went wrong and take time to get over it. But usually I’m really happy to chat to people. I’m always so happy and grateful when my friends come. I’m also like: get me a pint, I’m gonna sit down because I’m sweating and I need a shower.
I find it really hard to sleep after a show. You are so wired. Some shows are so late, you go home and you are in a weird wound up state. At Fringe I ended up listening to chill music - honestly the choral stuff was on. I ended up also listening to weird and intense affirmation things, if someone told me that, I would be like: well that’s a bit of a red flag. I also watch Tyler Henry - the Hollywood medium - I think he is the real deal honestly. I find it so relaxing and watch hours of it. Bob Ross sometimes, but mainly Tyler Henry.
You may have noticed that we have come out a bit later this week, from now on we will be posting all our goodness on Thursdays, just in time for your last in-work day lunch.
Recommendations from Rosalie:
Hen and chickens theater (especially for work in progresses) a cheerful pub with a theatre on top of it, what's not to love?
McDonald’s (they don’t get much press) and I'm sure they're loving it!
And the cinema (a relaxing way to absorb culture), your closest will do. Marvel films or Scorsese its got something for everyone.
What’s on:
Rosalie’s own show obvs, at the Soho theatre, the 15th -18th of November, tickets can be found here
Friend of UAD, Lachlan Werner's show, also at the Soho theatre, 31st -4th of November, tickets here
Finally another friend of the Newsletter, Charlie Wood, in all her masky goodness, co-creator of Miss Ellaneous at the puppet barge: book here
1823 meets 2023